Socially Awkward Situations

Humans are social beings and, unless you’ve been living in isolation, I’m assuming you have had a number of conversations over your lifetime. For teenagers (and people of all ages) conversations in social settings can often go awry and become awkward. Several teenagers are uncomfortable with conversation when it becomes rigid or boring, but there are ways to dig yourself out of an awkward situation that you may not always think of in the moment. Before discussing how to handle awkward social encounters it is important to understand why they occur in the first place.

Socially awkward situations occur for a plethora of reasons. The most common socially awkward confrontation is between strangers. These encounters can often be awkward because both people aren’t aware of their commonalities yet, so it can be difficult to push past the small talk stage. In a group, if you aren’t as familiar as the others are with everyone else it can feel awkward because you may not know when to chime in, or they may be talking about something you have no clue about. In a group, the awkwardness is more internal, but having awkward moments with only one other person can be a lot more obvious or excruciating.

Uncomfortable encounters aren’t limited to people who are unfamiliar, though. Awkward situations can also occur with friends and family. This is, more often than not, because something has happened in the past between friends or family members which has led to underlying tension or awkwardness. Sometimes these moments also occur because people just feel that they have run out of topics to discuss and are not comfortable with silence and/or disagreement.

Now that the reasons behind why awkward situations occur have been covered, let us discuss how to handle them and make them feel comfortable again, or at least how to improve the painful moment. I asked several teenagers what they do as an attempt to make a situation less awkward and many of them had similar strategies–the most common being “try to make jokes to defuse the tension.” This is generally a great way to ease out any awkwardness between you and the other person(s); I suggest sussing out what kind of humor they enjoy during your conversation and make jokes that most people would understand. Another tip that I personally use is to ask questions; usually, it’s good to ask a follow-up question to something they mentioned because it’s easier for people to talk about themselves since they themselves are a familiar subject, of course. If a situation gets awkward fairly quickly, and you don’t have a question in mind, you can also compliment them; saying how much you like their shirt or their hat will make them feel good and ease some stress. If the awkwardness is there because you have had a dramatic history, I suggest casually talking it through with them or ignoring it entirely. Try not to joke about drama or history you share if you were on opposing sides, especially if it is still ongoing. Try not to go on your phone immediately if an awkward situation arises; the longer you wait to break the tension, the harder it will be to achieve.

All in all, everyone feels awkward sometimes and it is rarely an indicator of the person’s opinion of you. Try to remember that they are probably also trying to think of ways to get over that awkward hurdle and move towards engaging conversation. Don’t wait for them to break the ice! They will appreciate it if you do it first and it will make you appear more friendly, open, and confident. Those are three great adjectives you can gain by trying some of these tricks out. Awkward moments can appear frequently, but they are definitely not the end-all-be-all of your relationship with that person or group.

Name: Blair Blackshaw

Editor: Claire Ottenstein