Losing a Best Friend

Friendship. The cement of happiness, the formula of joy, the key to freedom. Friendship. The cool lemonade on a hot day, the warm cocoa on a chilly night, and the water in a parched desert. Friendship is the most joy-giving experience in the world.

But what do you do if it suddenly goes?

Let's start at the beginning. A shared ice cream. A liked post. A common interest. A simple "hi" or "hey". A connection is formed between two or more people who have the same interests or similar souls. It is the start of an adventure, and the connection deepens. You start going to movies together. You start sharing secrets with each other. You laugh and joke and start interpreting each other's looks. That time is important in the creation of an emotional attachment. You eventually start getting closer and closer, and this person teaches you so much about life and how to deal with it. You get a glimpse into another reality. And then, you get tested for the first time by having a disagreement. It may be small, or big, but it still shakes your seemingly strong foundation. When you fight, you see the raw, unmasked, intense version of a person who has shown you a completely different side to them. If you cannot come back from it, that is the sign to let them go. You won't have that strong of an attachment to them, and it will be easier to see them go their own way. If you do come back from that, then you have just strengthened your connection. You have made an unwritten pact to accept all sides of them, including the ones that they may never show. You will fight more and more as time goes by, and you will constantly have to question that connection. But what is it that really holds you together? A shared class? A common belief? A lifetime of memories? Which one of these are strong enough to hold that bond throughout life? When your school term ends, when you move away, when you choose a different path, you will naturally begin to stray apart from each other. You will realize that distance only adds to common tensions, and that is when you will have to really make an effort. There will be times when you see one of their posts and realize they have drifted away. Your heart will have that little ache and you will wonder, "Should I message them? What are they doing? Where are they? What do they think? Do they remember all of our good times? Do they think about me at all?" That little shard of doubt will wiggle its way into your attention and you will be forced to address it.

Distancing is natural. Fights and mean words are common. Pain is unavoidable. Is your bond stronger than all of that? Is the thing holding you together more powerful?

Yes, yes it is. Bonds aren't made of paper. They are made of fun and joy, care and compassion, love and trust. You may think that it can all drop away in one second, but in reality, it takes time to unravel all the tightly woven threads of friendship. It is never too late to say hello. Never too late to call, and it is never too late to learn something new. Distance is only a test of how far your care and love can travel. Fights only bring you closer. And anger is just one step away from forgiveness. You have never lost someone. That space will never be empty. There will always be someone to fill that space in your heart. So don't give up hope. Call them, text them, ask how they are doing. I can guarantee that you have been on their mind too and they have wanted to talk to you too. They just don't know where to start. So be the better person and drop a bit of love in their inbox.

It is never too late.

Name: Maya Pandit

Editor: Katelyn Clark