Peer Pressure

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, “Peer Pressure” is defined as “the strong influence of a group… on members of that group.” We were all educated on peer pressure growing up. How it can be dangerous. We learned in health class that often kids are pressured into drinking, smoking or sexual behavior because of their friends or those around them. We are taught to combat those situations. We were taught to exit the scene if we are presented with something uncomfortable. We practiced how to say “please stop” or “i’m not too comfortable with that.” While avoiding drugs, alcohol, etc is important, that's not the only case where peer pressure is present.

One easy case is seen in academics. I’ll be attending Cornell University starting this fall. However, the first AP class that I took was this past senior year. I didn’t see a prestigious college as something that was doable for myself. It wasn’t even in question. See peer pressure isn’t limited to the physical things that can be pushed onto you but also the ideas of the people around. That you need a straight 4.0 or seven AP classes to get into a “good” college. I have friends who have taken AP classes and completely failed because they thought they needed an AP class to get into college. In an academic setting, peer pressure goes two ways. You either doubt yourself because of other people’s expectations. For example you don’t see yourself as smart because you’re the dumb class clown. You don’t see yourself being good in school because everyone tells you that your skills lay elsewhere. You begin to doubt your academic abilities because of the possible labels your peers put onto you. That, or you hold yourself to their standards. If the normal at your school is to take AP or accelerated classes you are more likely to put yourself in a class you aren’t ready for yet. Sometimes people might ask you what AP class you plan on taking; leading you to make one up on the spot. You end up taking a class you don’t like or do well in. Peer pressure is seen by living up to others expectations. I almost didn’t apply to Cornell because I judged my abilities based on others expectations. That I only took one AP class so I wouldn’t get in. That my SAT score and GPA wasn’t good enough. Peer pressure is also seen as people pushing their expectations onto you. Either the expectations they have for themselves or the ones they have for you.

The ladder of that statement is truest in a friendship/relationship perspective. The relationships in your life may hold you to a standard. An expectation that they have on you. In a friendship maybe someone expects you to pick up all the time. Maybe they expect you to tell them everything. Peer pressure in a friendship is also seen as people pressuring you to hang out, talk, share personal information etc. Sometimes it’s not super deep. Sometimes peer pressure is seen as them pushing their music taste onto you. Sometimes it’s them pushing something they like; that you don’t like, onto you. While it is good to try new things (like music, food, etc) it’s also good to know when to draw those lines. Depending on how your friends approach the circumstance, you can judge whether or not your friends are sharing something with you- or pressuring something onto you. I believe it is easy to not realize you’re a victim of peer pressure. That you unconsciously abide by what others like to do or think because that’s the environment you’re in. If your environment is repetitive, you might believe that the things your friends are pressuring you into are things you like. But when you’re alone and act differently, it might be time to reassess your environment. Once again, while it is okay to have a variety of friends, sometimes it’s important for you to stay true to you.

So if you don’t want to drink, stay true to you. Say it’s not your vibe or thing to do. That maybe next time just not now. Fighting peer pressure comes in two ways. One, immediate protection of yourself and two an internal realization. “Immediate protection” refers to coming up with an excuse of why you won’t abide by their expectation or want. That tomorrow your sister has a soccer game early in the morning and you have to go to it. So you can’t stay out drinking today. In reality, your sister doesn’t play soccer. But this immediate protection, or excuse gets you out of the situation. In reality, it is better to be honest. To say you don’t want to drink because you aren’t ready yet. In my experience people have been understanding of that. And then leave it be. While each circumstance is different for each person. I would say be honest first. Try out honesty, because some people will let it go. And if they don’t that’s when you can protect yourself from whatever it may be. In the academic example, maybe you don’t want to take an AP class. You can say the same thing. You aren’t ready to take an AP class at the moment but you’ll think about it. If their expectation of you is low, say that school is actually really important to you. Prove them wrong; that their expectations aren’t the rules for success. I was able to get into Cornell because I put my energy elsewhere; into my own interests. Into my own expectations rather than others. For the relationships you have in life, if people are pressuring you to do things you don’t want to do. Once again, being honest is the best thing you can do. Because if your friends don’t respect your honesty, it might be time to rethink those friendships. If you want to play your music for a change, just ask to play one song.

To be true to yourself, you need to be honest with yourself. Embrace what you expect and value. Then, as always, push yourself. Don’t compromise to the pressures of the environment around you. Take the classes you want to take. Do the activities that you want to do. But in order to know what those may be, you need to take the time to reflect on yourself. The moment you begin to embrace who you are and apply what you value, you will no longer be a victim of peer pressure. Some people “pressure” with the intent to get you involved. While it is a genuine act of care, you might not be ready for something. You might not be wanting the same thing. If their act of pressure roots in genuine care, they’ll let it go. To know what you want. Once again, you have to reflect on yourself.

Remember that peer pressure comes in different ways. That in health class we talk about the severe important ones like drinking and drugs. But be aware that it happens in different circumstances. And to not become a victim of peer pressure. Work on being honest with yourself. Stand up for yourself and voice what you care about. The expectations that others have on themselves or you aren’t rules you are forced to abide by. You’re in control. Don’t forget that.

Name: Seika Brown

Editor: Katelyn Clark

Graphic Designer: Isabelle Thym

Photographer: Leighton Gammage