Jealousy
- TeenToTeen
- Sep 8, 2020
- 2 min read
Jealousy is an emotion generally rooted in insecurity and feelings of inadequacy. Feelings of anger, fear, helplessness and resentment are also factors that contribute to or make someone's jealous demeanor. Jealousy is a very normal experience in human relationships, often seen in romantic relationships. It's important to understand why we feel jealous in our relationships and to identify how we can tackle and change those harmful thinking patterns.
In romantic relationships, jealousy is a reaction to a perceived threat whether it be real or imagined. It is important to differentiate "rational" from "delusional" jealousy. Normal or rational jealousy has a valid threat to the relationship. Delusional jealousy persists despite the absence of any probable or real threat. By acknowledging the signs of romantic jealousy and by examining the roots of our jealous feelings, we can effectively learn to cope with it. Like most difficult emotional experiences, jealousy can be a trigger for increased self-awareness, overall growth and greater understanding of your relationship.
Jealousy in romantic relationships is basically rooted in one basic problem, low self esteem. In a general sense, people with good self esteem won’t settle for romantic partners who treat them badly or enforce insecurities in the relationship. If your partner does things to intentionally make you question their loyalty in the relationship, then your concerns are valid. You have every right to step away. If your jealousy is irrational and stems from no actual reason, then you are projecting your insecurities onto the entire relationship. If seeing your partner interact with others makes you jealous, then you need to understand that your restrictions or unreasonable attitude will only push your partner further. If you aren't secure with your partner doing things independently, then you need to dive into your emotions and identify exactly why you are feeling a certain way.
Start by simply acknowledging your jealous behaviors and thoughts. Try to figure out exactly where your insecurities come from. It could be from bad childhood experiences or even failed past relationships. It's important to remember that past experiences don’t always repeat themselves. Don’t compare your past partners' wrongdoings to your present partner. You may have preconceptions when going into a new relationship but you will have to differentiate partners and let go of those ideas to really appreciate and enjoy your new relationship.
The best way to tackle these problems will be with communication.
Don’t be afraid to talk about your emotions and discuss situations that made you uncomfortable. Admit your insecurities and openly converse about what you are feeling with your partner. Hopefully by having these discussions, you will be able to gain more security and confidence from your partner.
Jealousy can be extremely harmful to your relationships and your overall happiness. You need to love and value yourself to attract quality people who are naturally trustworthy and worth your time and energy.
Don't Hesitate to walk away from anyone who isn’t treating you with the respect you deserve, but make sure that your insecurities or irrational suspicions aren’t factors contributing to the end of your relationships..
Name: Nathalia Ramkissoon
Editor: Katelyn Clark
Graphic Designer: Lisa Li-Liang
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